I have quite
a few questions in each section. I am leaving much of the survey open ended so
please feel free to write as much as you want. All information that you share
will be kept confidential and used only in generalized statements. Most will
also be re-phrased. I will publish the results of the survey on the Whirly
Wives blog http://whirlywives.blogspot.com. I am seeking wisdoms and opinions so if I
missed an important question please add your comments at the end of appropriate
section, I would love to hear it. Please be honest and have fun.
General
Information
Your Age?
_______________________________________________________________
Education
level? __________________________________________________________
What
is your occupation? __________________________________________________
Do
you work outside of the home? ____YES ____NO
How
long have you been in a relationship with your pilot? ____________________
Are
you married? ______ YES ______NO
How
long has your partner been a commercially rated pilot? ________________ YRS.
Does
your pilot travel for work? ______ YES _____NO
How
much time away does your partner spend in a month? _________ Days
How much
time away does your partner spend on average in a year? _________Months
How many
times have you relocated for your husband’s career? ___________
Let’s
talk about personality and your pilot.
What
personality type would you say your pilot is (check one)?
_____ Type A
individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling,
concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like,
aggressive, having difficulty relaxing known as “stress junkies” (Wikipedia.com)
_____ Type B
individuals, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going,
generally lacking an overriding sense of urgency (Wikipedia.com)
_____ Type
AB mix of both not clearly defined.
Is your
pilot an introvert or extrovert? _______________________________________
What is your
personality type? (use A, B or AB)_________________________________
Do you feel
you complement each other well?__________________________________
What are
your pilot’s greatest strengths?______________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What are
your pilot’s weaknesses?___________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
What do you
think is easy or positive for your pilot about this lifestyle?______________
________________________________________________________________________
What are
some his greatest challenges? (If you don’t know ask him it’s in the name of
science) _________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Is there an
adjustment period after your pilot returns home? _____YES _____NO If yes for
how long? ____________________________________________________________
How do you
deal with the 1st day back jitters?___________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you find
that last day home is hectic? Why or why not? ________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
cope with the day before and last day atmosphere in your home?________
________________________________________________________________________
Children
Do you have
any children? _______YES ________NO If no skip to Relationship Section.
How many
children do you have? ____________________________________________
What are the
ages of your children? __________________________________________
Do your
children attend daycare?______ YES _________ NO
Do you see
behavioral patterns in your children depending on your partner’s travel? For
example increased whining, disobedience, testing boundaries, acting out,
withdraw, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, others?________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
How do you
handle issues that arise, be specific in techniques or patterns that you have
developed that work for your family?_________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Do you see a
difference in rules between the times that you are a “single” parent and when
your spouse return or are you consistent please elaborate?___________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
How would
you define your pilot’s relationship with your children, involved hands on,
authority figure other?_____________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you
experience gaps in rules and understanding of what is going on upon your spouse’s
return home? Explain.______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you have
difficulty sharing the parenting hat? Explain._________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
present a united font? ___________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
think the transition from a team parenting to single parenting affects you as a
parent?________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
It is no
secret that your pilot will miss some firsts how do you compensate? Do you hold
off on some activities so that he can experience them as well?_____________________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you compensate when daddy is away on
special occasions birthdays, holidays ect?____________________________________________________________________
Relationship
What is the
biggest challenge in the relationship? _______________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Do you feel
that it is a personality issue or is it a result of the occupation?____________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you
experience lowered or increase libido depending on your husband’s schedule?
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
create romance when he is gone? (you may provide some insight if you want to
share)?___________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you find
yourself giving in when you know he is going away soon to avoid an argument?
Elaborate ______________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you alone
or both of you put forth an effort to make the transitions between him being at
home and leaving for work smooth? ___________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you
experience disappointment when he is not able to talk to you when away? How do
you cope?_____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Is his time
at home spent with the family, are there issues of falling into routine and
being a part? _____________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Communication
How
important do you think communication is in the relationship? Extremely 5 4 3 2
1 Not very
What type of
a communicator is your pilot?[1]
Choose one from below________________
Linear
versus Circular = straight line discussion versus a more circular approach
Direct
versus Indirect = meaning conveyed by words versus through suggestion
Detached
versus Attached = objective presentation versus expressive style
Intellectual
Engagement versus Relational Engagement = Discussion is about the task versus
discussion about the task and the person
Concrete
versus Abstract = example driven versus theory driven discussion
Please
explain why you feel that he is a particular type of a communicator.
___________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Communication
is composed of "55% body language, 38% tone of voice, 7% content of
words"[2] Do
you feel that your communication suffers because a lot of it is over phone or
computer?_______________________________________________________________
How do you
compensate for missing parts of communication?_____________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you feel
that life is easier since we have cell phones with texting and the internet
with skype? What are some benefits and drawbacks of the current technology that
is available to us?___________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
About
you
Do you
experience difficulty sleeping when your spouse is gone? Explain ____________
________________________________________________________________________
If yes how
do you overcome the difficulty? What are some skills that you have that help
you rest?________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How does
your stress level change when your pilot is away versus when he is home?___
________________________________________________________________________
Do you feel
secure in your home? _____ YES ______NO Why? _____________________
What do you
do to gain that sense of security?__________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Are you
afraid or worried when your husband is flying? If no skip next question._______
Is it often
or occasionally ___________________________________________________
What do you
do to cope with the fear?________________________________________
Do you feel
like the entire household responsibility rests on your shoulders?_________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
handle issues like house and car maintenance or problems when your pilot is
away?_________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you feel
resentful? Why or why not?_______________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How do you
take care of you when you are alone?_______________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you plan
things for your family when your pilot is away?_______________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you
hesitate to make plans or commitments – why?___________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Are your
friends understanding of your schedule?_______________________________
________________________________________________________________________
How does
your interaction change with your friends between trips?_________________
________________________________________________________________________
Are your
friends supportive or do you find they lack in understanding?_______________
________________________________________________________________________
What are the
benefits of being married to a pilot?_______________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Any other
words of wisdom that you want to share with other wives.________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you for taking the time to take the
survey.
Aggie the Whirly Wife
