We began our stay with a dlish drink and some extracurricular (wink wink) activities and then went exploring. the ship was clean and very well designed with multiple pools hut tubas and of course bars and lounges. The casino was nice but since we do not gamble we just passed through and moved on.
We were so totally relaxed by the time we pulled into port in Cozumel that I really would not have minded if we just stayed on the boat and relaxed. Since we already paid for the excursion we felt obligated to go. It was fun but if we go again we will probably just hang out on the boat or do one of those lazy beach deals where you are pampered and not hiking the Mayan ruins.
At the actual ruins which were in a National Park we saw a tomb and couple temples. Some of the uncovered structures are still unidentified and thus the tour guide didn't really go into what the were. It was interesting to see some of the water wells.
After the ruins we headed over to a quick lunch and an even shorter visit to the beach, yet we enjoyed the beautiful Caribbean water and sand. Wish we had more time to indulge, next time for sure.
After the day in Cozumel we looked forward to another day at sea to just relax. being the nutty hockey fans we are we were thrilled to learn that the Philadelphia Flyers were going to be aired in our room followed by the Washington capitals so we watched the game the Flyers won and it was a perfect day of relaxation ad fun. Out last night on board was spent in the jacuzzi on the upper deck with a margarita in hand and stars over head.
A perfect break
As a pilot’s wife we are used to being alone a lot. We plan for the times that husband is scheduled to fly and fill that time in with activities, chores and whatever to not feel the gaping hole he leave behind. All the while the pilot is at work busy doing what he needs to do and what he loves to do, but still missing the comforts of home. It is a balance that you reach after years of being married to a man who is on the road and away from home for more than six months a year.
Yesterday Mr. Right was coming home from an 8 day hitch, we were both very excited to see each other. Usually he flies all day until down time and I don’t hear from him until the call or text that usually reads: “In the truck ETA 9:30 I hope”. Yesterday he flew his butt off early in the day and by 2:30 pm I got a text letting me know he was sitting on the beach and should be released soon. I was at the time at his parents’ house, hanging out with mom.
He compares it to being on a cruise but he has to fly a helicopter. The feeling of isolation and solitude is very similar to being on an ocean liner, there are also many levels and areas to the oil rigs and there is a kitchen with a cook. Totally up his alley since he does not cook.
It’s a little windy
A night of “debauchery”
My husband, being the pilot that he is, always checks weather. He posted on Facebook the following “How I plan my life- Sunday will be cold and rainy = perfect day to nurse a hangover = getting loaded Saturday night = must open the bar for a poker night = going to the liquor store tonight.” So I replied “How I plan my life - Sunday will be cold and rainy = Carey will be nursing a hangover =guys poker night at the pub tomorrow night = I need to be sober because someone has to = tonight is my night to renew my relationship with sea breeze” He strolled his six foot one self to me and said “Wear a skirt and meet me at the pub for a drink”.
Doing a mental shift
It is so scary to step away from the picture that we had painted in our minds and to try to compose a new one for the future. We are definitely at a cross roads and I am not sure which road we will take. The fact that I am suspended in this uncertainty is made harder by the fact that my pilot is working and away. I have no one to bounce ideas off of and I know he feels it. Even though he has not been saying much he did write the following on Facebook “The only thing worse then needing and not being given, is to be needed and unable to give.” Does that not just say it all. As much as I am proud of him being a pilot and I really did adjust well to the lifestyle - him being away and hurting because I am sucks. I try to tell myself that there should be no pressure and there is fun in not having a plan or altering what you though you wanted your life to be because life does throw curveballs at you and it is all about being flexible but the emotional part of me sais bologna and wants answers and plans. So the long and the short of it is that I feel a little off balance and unsure of what the future holds. I am grateful that I have an amazing husband, we will figure this out together.
Eat Pray Love
Feeling a bit better – well a lot
Looking for some cheer …
A nipping confession
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Oh that last 30 minutes today was brutal.
Oh the wonderful wonders of Skype
I do strongly recommend Skype as means of communication so here is the link to their official site Skype.
A hug would do me right now
No really I am FINE
The double life of the pilot’s wife
First day back jitters
Truths I had to learn:
• I am okay alone. There are positive ways to fill your time such as reading, playing with your child, exercise, cooking, baking and house work, hobbies, events for our son.
• Just because I can’t touch him, smell him or see him it does not mean that he is not missing us and thinking about us. And apart of me just as much as when he is here.
• I can handle anything - it just takes preparation, thought, a plan and support of those who love me. He can support from far away just as well.
• He is not a mind reader and when he is away I need to tell him if I feel happy, sad, lonely, frustrated, excited… This is the only way he can be of any help and have involvement. If I don’t share he is out of the loop and I can’t have expectations because that is unfair.
• It is very important to keep in touch via phone, text or e-mail so that he is in the loop on what is happening when he is away – especially about the kids. This makes the transition easier when he returns and he is not coming in to a new set of rules clueless. That can hurt everyone.
• He pays a price that I will never truly understand no matter how hard I try – I forget this one and can be insensitive at times. Still work in progress.
• The first day back and last day home are hard so be kind to him and yourself.
• The benefits are greater than the negatives. People tend to hold on to the bad and forget the good so I mentally list out the good. If it was not for our families benefit we would not be doing this. All lifestyles have significant struggles – mine are just different.
12 bold ideas for a happy marriage
The Intermittent Husband –I. Hubinger, AW Parker and A Clavrino
This is a scientific article describing a study done on wives of pilots, seaman, miners and other occupations where the husband is away for substantial timeframes. This study shows the effects of such lifestyle on marital satisfaction, social support, and psychological well being. The data presented and found is very interesting it suggests that women do suffer from some sleep disturbances, minor depressions and other issues when married to a man who travels and is away for periods of time. It shows that community support, support groups for wives and frequent communication with the absent husband help with some of the feelings that wives experience. It is a very interesting document with a lot of data and supporting evidence.