Whirly Wives: Survey

I have quite a few questions in each section. I am leaving much of the survey open ended so please feel free to write as much as you want. All information that you share will be kept confidential and used only in generalized statements. Most will also be re-phrased. I will publish the results of the survey on the Whirly Wives blog http://whirlywives.blogspot.com. I am seeking wisdoms and opinions so if I missed an important question please add your comments at the end of appropriate section, I would love to hear it. Please be honest and have fun.

General Information

Your Age? _______________________________________________________________

Education level? __________________________________________________________

What is your occupation? __________________________________________________

Do you work outside of the home? ____YES ____NO

How long have you been in a relationship with your pilot? ____________________

Are you married? ______ YES ______NO

How long has your partner been a commercially rated pilot? ________________ YRS.

Does your pilot travel for work? ______ YES _____NO

How much time away does your partner spend in a month? _________ Days

How much time away does your partner spend on average in a year? _________Months

How many times have you relocated for your husband’s career? ___________

Let’s talk about personality and your pilot.

What personality type would you say your pilot is (check one)?

_____ Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing known as “stress junkies” (Wikipedia.com)

_____ Type B individuals, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going, generally lacking an overriding sense of urgency (Wikipedia.com)

_____ Type AB mix of both not clearly defined.

Is your pilot an introvert or extrovert? _______________________________________

What is your personality type? (use A, B or AB)_________________________________

Do you feel you complement each other well?__________________________________

What are your pilot’s greatest strengths?______________________________________

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What are your pilot’s weaknesses?___________________________________________

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What do you think is easy or positive for your pilot about this lifestyle?______________

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What are some his greatest challenges? (If you don’t know ask him it’s in the name of science) _________________________________________________________________

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Is there an adjustment period after your pilot returns home? _____YES _____NO If yes for how long? ____________________________________________________________

How do you deal with the 1^st day back jitters?___________________________________

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Do you find that last day home is hectic? Why or why not? ________________________

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How do you cope with the day before and last day atmosphere in your home?________

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Children

Do you have any children? _______YES ________NO If no skip to Relationship Section.

How many children do you have? ____________________________________________

What are the ages of your children? __________________________________________

Do your children attend daycare?______ YES _________ NO

Do you see behavioral patterns in your children depending on your partner’s travel? For example increased whining, disobedience, testing boundaries, acting out, withdraw, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, others?________________________________________

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How do you handle issues that arise, be specific in techniques or patterns that you have developed that work for your family?_________________________________________

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Do you see a difference in rules between the times that you are a “single” parent and when your spouse return or are you consistent please elaborate?___________________

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How would you define your pilot’s relationship with your children, involved hands on, authority figure other?_____________________________________________________

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Do you experience gaps in rules and understanding of what is going on upon your spouse’s return home? Explain.______________________________________________

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Do you have difficulty sharing the parenting hat? Explain._________________________

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How do you present a united font? ___________________________________________

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How do you think the transition from a team parenting to single parenting affects you as a parent?________________________________________________________________

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It is no secret that your pilot will miss some firsts how do you compensate? Do you hold off on some activities so that he can experience them as well?_____________________

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How do you compensate when daddy is away on special occasions birthdays, holidays ect?____________________________________________________________________

Relationship

What is the biggest challenge in the relationship? _______________________________

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Do you feel that it is a personality issue or is it a result of the occupation?____________

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Do you experience lowered or increase libido depending on your husband’s schedule?

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How do you create romance when he is gone? (you may provide some insight if you want to share)?___________________________________________________________

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Do you find yourself giving in when you know he is going away soon to avoid an argument? Elaborate ______________________________________________________

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Do you alone or both of you put forth an effort to make the transitions between him being at home and leaving for work smooth? ___________________________________

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Do you experience disappointment when he is not able to talk to you when away? How do you cope?_____________________________________________________________

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Is his time at home spent with the family, are there issues of falling into routine and being a part? _____________________________________________________________

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Communication

How important do you think communication is in the relationship? Extremely 5 4 3 2 1 Not very

What type of a communicator is your pilot?^{^[1]} Choose one from below________________

Linear versus Circular = straight line discussion versus a more circular approach

Direct versus Indirect = meaning conveyed by words versus through suggestion

Detached versus Attached = objective presentation versus expressive style

Intellectual Engagement versus Relational Engagement = Discussion is about the task versus discussion about the task and the person

Concrete versus Abstract = example driven versus theory driven discussion

Please explain why you feel that he is a particular type of a communicator. ___________

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Communication is composed of "55% body language, 38% tone of voice, 7% content of words"^{^[2]} Do you feel that your communication suffers because a lot of it is over phone or computer?_______________________________________________________________

How do you compensate for missing parts of communication?_____________________

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Do you feel that life is easier since we have cell phones with texting and the internet with skype? What are some benefits and drawbacks of the current technology that is available to us?___________________________________________________________

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About you

Do you experience difficulty sleeping when your spouse is gone? Explain ____________

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If yes how do you overcome the difficulty? What are some skills that you have that help you rest?________________________________________________________________

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How does your stress level change when your pilot is away versus when he is home?___

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Do you feel secure in your home? _____ YES ______NO Why? _____________________

What do you do to gain that sense of security?__________________________________

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Are you afraid or worried when your husband is flying? If no skip next question._______

Is it often or occasionally ___________________________________________________

What do you do to cope with the fear?________________________________________

Do you feel like the entire household responsibility rests on your shoulders?_________

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How do you handle issues like house and car maintenance or problems when your pilot is away?_________________________________________________________________

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Do you feel resentful? Why or why not?_______________________________________

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How do you take care of you when you are alone?_______________________________

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Do you plan things for your family when your pilot is away?_______________________

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Do you hesitate to make plans or commitments – why?___________________________

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Are your friends understanding of your schedule?_______________________________

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How does your interaction change with your friends between trips?_________________